One day Saint Francis of Assisi and his closest companion, Brother Leo, were out walking. Noticing that Leo looked downhearted, Francis said,

“Leo, why are you looking so sad?”

“Brother Francis, I read in the Gospels that ‘the pure in heart will see God,’ and I lament my miserable condition. I am beset by my imperfections and weaknesses and despair that I will ever be free of them.”

“Leo, do you know what purity of heart means?”

“Of course. It means to have no sins or faults to reproach myself for.”

“Ah,” said Francis, “now I understand why you’re so sad. Little brother, there is always something to reproach ourselves for.”

“Exactly,” said Leo. “And that’s why I despair of ever achieving purity of heart.”

“Now Leo, listen to me carefully,” said Francis. “Do not be preoccupied with the purity of your heart. Your sadness about not being perfect is a purely human emotion. In fact, it is really a weakness and a form of idolatry. To overcome it, you must look beyond yourself. Turn within and focus on the grace, love and forgiveness of the indwelling Christ, and once you are aware of that, then you can look at yourself. Don’t give in to the temptation of wondering about yourself, but keep your attention on Him and His grace. The pure of heart do this all the time. Indeed, this is what is meant by purity of heart. Even when they feel completely broken and desolate, they are able to release everything into His Peace.”

After some time, Leo said, “But, Brother Francis, surely the Lord demands our effort.”

“Holiness is not a personal achievement,” replied Francis. “All we can do is turn to Him. The only thing we can bring is inner emptiness, everything else is done by Him.”

“How does that work?” said Leo.

They walked together in silence for a few minutes, then Francis said, “When you look to Him and see the infinite love and forgiveness that He offers you, all the heaviness of your guilt and self-reproach will disappear. Bring everything that causes you pain or unhappiness to the light that shines within you. But you must be sure to get rid of everything. Sweep your house clean. Bring everything to the light, everything that weighs you down, all your suffering, your self-accusation, even the memory of your sins. Don’t hang on to anything of yourself, and when you are no longer aware of yourself, you will be like a lark ascending into the clear blue sky, singing his praises all day long.”

Leo listened attentively as he walked beside St Francis, and with every step his heart grew lighter and his soul was filled with peace.

In this story, St Francis of Assisi gives us the key to the spiritual life and a cure for every kind of unhappiness. Self-preoccupation easily turns into negative self-talk, and negative self-talk can then become a form of self-torture. Unfortunately, this is very common today, when so many young people are exposed to some of the more toxic aspects of social media. The good news is that it is possible to be free of it.

Self-accusation is caused by the unwatched mind, where it takes on a life of its own and exists as though it were a separate entity. The dark moods that sometimes take us over are caused by it, and are themselves born of memories of negative experiences from our past. We are frightened to look at these things and keep them locked away in our subconscious. They live there like monsters we keep locked away in a dark cellar. To become free, we have to overcome our fear and face them. This is never as frightening as we think it is going to be. The story of Beauty and the Beast has become part of world culture because it illustrates this. When we overcome our fear and finally embrace the hideous beast, it turns into a handsome prince. In the same way, when we turn towards our fear and painful memories, embracing them with love, they turn into light. We can do this for everything that makes us unhappy and weighs us down. This is the secret of purity of heart and how we “release everything into His peace.” George Fox offers us a similar method:

“Stand still in that which is pure, after ye see yourselves; and then mercy comes in. After thou seest thy thoughts, and the temptations, do not think, but submit; and then power comes. Stand still in that which shows and discovers; and then doth strength immediately come. And stand still in the Light, and submit to it, and the other will be hushed and gone; and then content comes.”

At any moment, a thought can enter your mind and “take you over,” it can then dictate your mood. When a thought comes from a painful past experience, it can cause problems. The best way to deal with it is to look at it from the standpoint of the light or the stillness within you. Take a few deep breaths, close your eyes and centre down within yourself. Then look at it. Do not be afraid. Try to cultivate an attitude of curiosity. Be curious about it. Picture the monster from the past in your mind’s eye. Ask it to tell you it’s story, because it will often have a story that it has been waiting for years to tell you. Listen to it attentively. Then power comes. The monster may come back again, but when it does, turn to it again with love, curiosity and attention. You will know this process is working if, in time, you feel less heaviness and more lightness and happiness. One thing is certain, just as in the story of Beauty and the Beast, the inner monster you have locked away for years will be transformed if you listen to its story. It will eventually be released and so will you.

We have much to learn from the darkness within us and nothing to fear because it is no match for the light. However, it is important to continue the process once you have begun. Sweep your house clean. Keep going. Look in every recess, every nook and cranny, clean out the basement, the cellar, the attic. All your fears, your sins and your pain, everything that weighs you down or causes you unhappiness in any form can be brought to the light.

“Holiness is not a personal achievement,” neither is purity of heart or wholeness, which is what this process leads to. We depend entirely on the grace of God. St Francis knew the secret of holiness and happiness, and here he passes it on to you. When we empty ourselves, we find an alternative centre of gravity, which is the light itself. This light is always there, and this process merely uncovers it. Awareness shines away the heaviness of self, until finally only the light remains. And when you have emptied yourself of self you will be as light, free and joyous as a lark rising up to sing in the azure clear blue sky.